Looking for a new challenge? – Retrain as a Delta Smelt

Help restore one of California’s most endangered species while supporting California’s water supplies in a time of drought.

The Federal government is beginning a program for the unemployed to retrain as much-needed Delta Smelt.  Following a two-day course, candidates will learn to:

• Seek out turbid waters
• Spawn in sand at secret locations
• Surf the tides
• Make themselves present for counting in mid-water trawls

Major California water projects and water users are preparing to hire successful graduates for 1-2 year non-renewable contracts.  Minimum qualifications:

• Must be shorter than three inches
• Swim poorly
• Smell slightly of cucumber
• Be translucent

Occupational risks include:

• Consumption by bass
• Entrainment by pumps
• Getting lost in Delta channels
• Relocation to Southern California

As an endangered species, actual employment conditions will likely comply with State social distancing requirements.

For information, please contact: cygnusjobs-4-u.net